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Right now...

Right now I am feeling more like myself than I have in the last couple of days. The last couple of days I have felt like I had just been wandering in around in an empty body. I'm not sure why. I did have a stomach ache, which returned this morning, and that has made me feel, obviously, sick and not myself. But there is something else, and I cannot pinpoint it. I can get this way when we've missed going to church the previous Sunday, which did happen, and I've noticed that when I've been praying I feel like I just want to get it over with. Weird.'

Right now though, I feel as though, maybe, I am clearing the path back to myself. Although I know I won't be able to fully get there until I have figured out exactly what my roadblocks are. The weird thing is, is that I am at work which is an odd place to start the journey back. Work has always seemed like one of my road blocks to my ultimate happiness. I have a good, flexible job. Though it is not what I want to be doing. I know someday I will be able to do what I really want and that is what gets me through.

Right now, I feel better than this morning because I have no idea how I got from home to work. I left my driveway and then all of a sudden I was at my destination. It was creepy. But right now, I feel good. Except I don't won't to be working, but instead having a cup of coffee and someone to talk to. That would be good, right now.

Right now, I think I will say a prayer: Dear Jesus, please continue to remind me throughout my day that I have a lot to be thankful for and many things to be happy about. Thank you for my children. Thank you for my friends and beautiful family that support me. Continue to instill in me virtues of patience, kindness, love, forgiveness, grace and mercy each and everyday and to praise You in all that I do. Amen.

Comments

Miss said…
Megan...I am curious about your post. I dont know I totally understand, but I feel the heaviness in your words. Are you ok?
April 3, 2008 at 1:51 PM
Anonymous said…
I wish I could be skipping work and having coffee with you too...sigh. My dream life - having coffee dates with friends and talking about life!

You also said your (even though your job is great and flexible) that someday you'll get to do what you really want to do. Sooo, what do you want to do? Details!
April 5, 2008 at 6:44 PM
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