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Feeling blah today!

Just a funk. Yep, I said Funk. Ha! Anyway, I kind of want a night away, (which of then I feel bad that I feel like I need a break, but I do) but this weekend there are like no babysitters to watch the kids! Which is fine, but I really feel like it would be great to get out! It doesn't help that it's rodeo weekend (and that is not even what I want to go to), and so everyone is facebooking "going out tonight" , "can't wait, it's going to be a fun night" and so on and so forth. When I know I will be in bed by 9:30pm!

So I decided to have a pity party for myself and blog about my self...pity. But then the other question that always spurs in my head then is how do a lot of moms I know always seem to get away...a lot? Some just get to go, and leave the kids with dad, which is normal and awesome because kids need to spend more time with dad. But Tom just isn't...well..as flexible with that maybe? I don't know, he'll do it, for sure. But I just don't feel like I can be like, "Well, see ya, I'm going..." this day, and then the next day, and a few days later. But some moms do. And then there are some who always have grandparents watching their kids to go out. And then there are some that go out a lot, but I have no idea how they pull it off? Divorce? Older kids?

Anyway, I think it's weird how I want to go out really bad, but I don't much, because I feel bad leaving the kids. Is that weird, or sound confusing? And I don't even want to go out to do the things that I used to like clubbing, or the bar. Sometimes, I just want to go sit at the movies by myself or the coffee shop and read a book. Wow...that sounds dreamy right now!

So...there was my rant. I'm just feeling very "stuck" at the moment. I know I'll feel better about it soon, but right now, it's just how I feel.

Comments

Alicia O. & the gang said…
OH megan...sounds like an internal argument/discussion I have day in and day out sometimes. I am pathetic...I mean...I take my children everywhere and rarely leave them. Scott and I go out so rarely that I can't even remember the last time. We do NOT hire sitters. We don't even have any for "in case". IF we go out...we have to arrange my parents or sisters...and they are all super busy..so it's tough. Also..Scott's schedule is also NOT flexible. He can't just get off early or be home at a certain time...he HAS to work. Especially with jobs the way they are righ tnow I wouldn't even dream of asking him to take a day off or bug out early.
But...ya know...what I hear God whisper to me in these times of frustration? My self-pity is more about me than anything. I am wallowing because I want to. He can provide the "rest" if I allow Him to and a time away will come (just maybe not as soon as I might like). And comparing...oh the junky things comparing ourselves does! I have been so convicted over the years about this...and there are just some people I cannot even discuss certain things with becuase I feel competition happening.
Stick with it...my feelings may not apply to you...but I guess all that to say " you are not alone" in your feelings.
July 11, 2009 at 10:38 PM
Megan Marie said…
Thanks Alicia! Said very well...thank you!
July 12, 2009 at 12:11 AM
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