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I wrote this before Christmas

In Rememberance.


9:44am Tuesday, Dec 18, 2007

Aaaahh. The Holiday Season is now upon us. It crept up like a tiger spotting it's prey. It comes quiet and swift, ready for the kill, but patient and agile...so very cunning is the Holiday Season. Like a tiger. Strange. It's strange how the Holiday Season was meant for joy, peace, love and hope. Yet for most, it is a dreadful reminder of pain, hurt and a time where old or new memories are rekindled. It is a time where our country is at war and some, are at war with their own demons. There are few who go through the Holiday Season with out a care in the world. It is a constant source of refueling for them. Pretty paper, joyful music and hugs, kisses and happy sounds all around. For some it is wondering if there will be food on the table, disapointments and heartache. I have learned through they years, to still enjoy the happy times of the Holiday Season. I have learned that life deals you different cards and it is how you play them that is important for your own happiness. Yes, I have a wonderful family, blessed with children and pretty paper, joyful music, hugs, kisses and happy sounds all around. But the one sound I miss every year, is that of my older brother Jason.

I miss his knuckles digging in my head for an oh so missed noogie. I miss hearing the cracking of his growing leg bones as he ambled up the stairs to the kitchen. I miss the sound of his sneakers squeaking on the gym floor while he played basketball. I miss his voice most of all as the years go by, because I can barely remember the deep rumble of his speech and the roar of his laughter. I can't remember how he smelled or how many friends he had. But I do remember how much I loved him. And I always carry with me how much I miss him.So even though the Holiday Season is a time when people tend to reflect on what has gone wrong with life, remember, there are those who never got the chance to continue to experience what there life had to offer them and others. I know at this time of year, I miss him most and desperatly wish I could see him, smell him, hear him...one last time. I love you so much Jason, December 25, 1976 -December 22, 1992.

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