From the inside out

I am tired. WHAM! It just hit me all of a sudden. I feel like I have so much to write about, so much to tell. And I sat here for about 5 minutes thinking, "Hmmm Megan, what can you say? What have you done lately? What have you been thinking?"

And nothing. Nothing came to mind. Part of it I think is that I have stuff I want to say, stuff that is important and special, and real. But then, you know, who wants everyone to know everything. Like for instance, if you were to ask, "Megan, how was your Thanksgiving?" I would reply, "Oh, it was great, very nice." Was it? Well, most of it. But you know, the part where almost, well, all of my mom's side didn't come over, for whatever reason, and no, don't worry. I won't tell you that part of the reason is because we are having our baby Shelby "dedicated" at church instead of "baptized" is one of the reasons they seem to all of a sudden be avoiding us. I also won't tell you that my Aunt has fervently been texting my mother with scriptures about infant baptism, and that she's been blogging on a website and then sending the replies to my mother as an, aha, look what they said about that, now what do you think. I also won't tell you that the same beliefs my Aunt has from this type of church is also the same church view that when my brother died, the pastor of this church, who knew and loved my brother, almost did not do the service because it would have to be held in another Lutheran church that was not the same type of Lutheran church as his. When he did agree, my mother and father fought tooth and nail with him so that the organist from the "other" church could "stand next to him" and also about playing a Garth Brooks song, "The Dance".

Anyway.

I also won't tell you that Tom has been laid off, and that a bunch of work that he had lined up has fallen through.

But, what I will tell you, is that we are making a complete conscious effort to remain in good spirits. Pray, and let God take care of the rest. Because really? We are doing what we can, and I am so thankful for a husband who is so supportive, but at the same time sensitive. I am so glad and thankful that we can talk through things like this, and for the first time, pray about our life issues and rely fully that God will see us through. I am so thankful, that in our hard times, instead of stressing to the point of anger, we stress, and grow closer as a family. Yes, I do break down now and then and cry, or worry, but God is slowly teaching me, "Do not worry, for what are these wordly possessions compared to what God has for us!"

So, in my turmoils of recent, I am finding my relationship with God, my husband, and family grow stronger, so really, am I in turmoil or a transformation of life? I'll let you decide.